Eaten By Alligators

We play a great game at bed time in which I start a story with a sentence and the kids jump on and continue to add until we have a complete story. Usually, and tonight was no exception, we get stuck on a consistent theme. Tonight the theme was 'eaten by an alligator'. No matter what, the story always had the main character getting eaten by an alligator. Until Ella created this great story:
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl named Daiah. Daiah was a peasant girl living in a magical kingdom. One day, the prince discovered that Daiah was actual a princess, separated from her parents when she was very young. The prince invited her to the ball at the castle in hopes that she would fall in love with him. Daiah was so excited and wore a pretty, blue tierra and a wonderful, long silver dress to the ball. When she arrived, she met the prince who insisted that he was in love and that they get married on the spot. Daiah, of course, agreed. They had an amazing ceremony and just as they were about to kiss, the prince peeled off his skin to reveal that he was an alligator and ate Daiah all up.
It was awesome.
Tagged Parenting

Comfortable in my Masculinity

My 4 year old daughter loves to get her nails done. Holly usually takes her when she goes to get a mani / pedi and we probably do her nails at least once a week at the house. Over the past couple of weeks, she's been wanting me to tag along to get my nails done. Finally, I told her that I would go along with her, but only if she picked out the color that my nails would be painted.
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She picked a fine glittery blue, which I like since it goes well with my blue flip flops that I wore. I enjoyed the pedi, but I especially enjoyed the foot / leg massage. The manicure was okay, but if it is good enough for Larry Ellison, than I guess it is good enough for me. I don't know if this will be a regular thing for me, but I did have a great time with my daughter and wife and it was fun to see them giggle as I got my toes painted.
Tagged Fun & Dumb Parenting

It's Gettin Hot In Herre...

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...but just having come from the land of the obese (known in America as shopping malls), I'm glad that no one is listening to Nelly's advice, at least not yet.

Fuck.  I guess sometime in the past week, there was a major earthquake and the Bay Area, now sits directly on top of the earths molten core.  I just got in my car and the thermometer read 111.  Holly told me that it wasn't this hot when she lived in Ghana.  You know that it is hot when people are reminiscing about how temperate it was in Ghana. 

If you purchased an SUV this weekend, you're a dick.  Seriously.  If you purchased an SUV this weekend, in the midst of the hottest summer since the 1920's and a major crisis in the Middle East, I have to wonder, WTF?  How could you be so oblivious to what is going on in the world?  When have you ever seen anyone sweat at the British Open?  If you did purchase an SUV this weekend, I'm sure you had a good reason for doing so though.  Don't worry about the environment or the price of gas, it will all be good. 

Now on to the golf.  I wish that there was something to write aside from 'they should have given Tiger the trophy on Friday afternoon'.  It wasn't even too exciting to watch.  Sure DiMarco made it interesting at times.  Yeah, it was nice to see a guy from Japan that no one outside of his immediate family has ever heard of, but it wasn't a tournament.  It was less than captivating.   Plus, in my pool, I got spanked so bad that I was out of it on Friday.  So much for the Brits making a run at it.  Thanks, SI.

Are the only people left in the US that still wear suits to work in IBM commercials?  IBM, get a new ad agency that actually has a grip on what goes on in the work place.  No wonder nobody buys your stuff.  No one can look at your commercials and go 'Hey that looks like my company, maybe I should check their stuff out.'  People see IBM commercials and think 'Boy, that looks like a shitty place to work.'

One thing to be said for the heat is that it has to be fairly good for retail numbers.  I am sure that the people who run the shops in the mall are praying for this streak to continue.  Especially in the Bay Area where 'You really only need air conditioning for two weeks a year'.  Guess what, we're in it.  I have to believe that there are some really good economic numbers around record breaking heat indexes and an increase in retail sales.  The mall was packed.  Shopping malls generally give me a migraine because I am not good with lots of people all going in different directions.  It also pains me to see most of America continue to buy things that they don't need on credit that they don't have.  Especially when 100 degree temperatures have made everyone in the area a little loopy and a lot uptight.  However, I suspect that the high temperatures get people into the stores to buy stuff and if you watch the weather and you watch stocks, I bet you can find a direct correlation between rises in both. 

I took the kids to see Monster House in 3D.  Since I hadn't seen a 3D movie since Captain Eo with Michael Jackson in 1989, it was pretty cool.  You still have to wear the dumb glasses, but none the less, it was a neat experience.  It was a bit too scary for a 4 year old though, so I don't know if I would recommend it for that set.  Especially in 3D.  It was a little bit creepy to see a house reach out a snatch a little kid up.  Maybe I won't be getting that Father of the Year award after all.  Always 2007, maybe it will be cooler by then.

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Wikipedia as a Parenting Tool

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My daughter is at an age now where she is asking all kinds of questions.  Like 'Why do we have eyebrows?' Since I am just a dopey sales guy, I don't have the faintest idea why we have eyebrows or know the answers to any of her other questions.  Thankfully, I have Wikipedia and can find out the answers to these things pronto.  It will be a sad day when she pulls back the curtain to realize that I am just an old man working the levers, but until then, I love her curiousity. In case you were wondering: Wikipedia's answer is here.
Tagged General Parenting
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